bright, shiny, & overrated

Rules for Ivan’s car Leonardo da Vinci’s mobile military headquarters:

• No food or drink
• Ivan Leonardo gets to pick the music, and tonight we shall be listening to Miss Kate Bush.

in which we solve network tv problems. sort of.

h: network tv is in enough shambles as is
h: one day you and i will be able to realize our dreams of making tv bc production studios or whatever will be worthless and auctioned for like, a penny and big mac
g: hahahaha
g: perf
h: i only want to make tv shows with half naked men set on spaceships
h: idk think spartacus: sea of dicks IN SPACE
h: spartacus can be a maverick fighter pilot
g: hahahahaha omg
g: putting that on our blog
h: yeah i mean
h: maybe we can get this crowd funded?
h: be honest tumblrs, who wouldn't watch spartacus: sea of dicks IN SPACE
g: oh good idea
g: can we kickstarter this
g: i mean if veronica mars can do it
h: yeah this is at least as good as that
h: i don't remember any dicks on veronica mars

Hillary’s suggestions/feelings for the the first two episodes of Doctor Who this new half-season…

21st-century almost-relevance of Downton Abbey

g: also apparently 1920s peaches geldof is coming to downton
h: oh
h: idk i don't need 2013 peaches geldof so
g: ugh downton stop making me care about thomas
h: but thomas is the best
h: and by best i mean rly hot when smoking in a valets uniform
g: omg are bates and anna going to fornicate in one of the cottages
h: :|
h: i want anna to stay with mary all the time
g: hey broke a couch and started giggling so i guess not
h: oh awk
g: Lorddd they've put Edith in charge of the wild Geldof cousn
h: have fun edith! 18 yr olds are exhausting

Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch, “Sweet Nothing”

Perhaps even more than the over-produced and repetitive Ceremonials, this video proved to me that becoming an international star has been the worst thing for Florence Welch artistically.  I know it’s a few months old, but I just saw it recently and couldn’t believe how two artists who once had senses of humor and moments of levity (see “Acceptable in the Eighties” and “Kiss With a Fist”) could produce something so contrived.  What might have been an interesting exploration of queering and a different sort of gender performance from Welch’s often diaphanous-fabric-clad frame degenerated into a lingerie and a treat for anyone with a redhead fetish.  Behind this is a nonstory, some narrative linking Welch, her lover, and Harris that isn’t interesting or really understandable. Are we supposed to conclude that her femininity is freed when her lover gets attacked?  What, actually, is this video actually saying?

I witnessed the bizarre proliferation of scholarship following Lady Gaga’s “Telephone,” so I’m always wary of analyzing a music video in too many words.  Overall, I think it’s symptomatic of a strange trend in music and music videos to portray the equivalent of a “too many feels” gif; all one emotional note, and a loud and indecipherable one at that.  Even art with difficult subject matter can convey a joy in expression, but this, as well as anything that is taken too seriously, is just joyless.  What do you think?

sports commentary courtesy of BSO.

hh: musta!
hh: i like her better than the other russian bc she seems like she takes no nonsense and loves eye shadow

I’m just going to say it:  the second season of The Mis-adventures of Awkward Black Girl is disappointing so far.  I didn’t think the show really jumped the shark during the season finale, since J and White Jay’s date was beautifully excruciating, but the first two episodes are missing the old magic that used to make me cackle.  Maybe the genius of the first season was its brevity; you have to pack a lot of laughs into a seven-minute episode, but now that the show has the bankroll to film longer episodes, the plot goes in strange tangents.

There are still a handful of guffaws in the first two episodes, and Issa Rae is still the utterly lovable and yet cringe-worthy protagonist she always was.  Sujata Day is the show’s heart in a lot of ways as J’s best friend CeCe, but I’m finding the rest of the show lacking.  White Jay, perfect for our heroine because he’s just as awkward and lovely as she is, barely makes any appearances except as a drone boyfriend intent on manufacturing romance.  J’s nemesis Nina, the mean girl usually full of brilliant snipes, just yells nonsensical insults like a crazy person at a bus station.

I’d also like to know what the hell is going on with the supporting cast.  Boss Lady barely had to do anything to be hilarious, but the guy who plays new boss Jesus merely delivers his lines rather than does any acting.  While J’s mental montage of how to tell new co-worker Logan she’s not gay is hilarious, Logan isn’t holding up her end of the scene at all.  She’s pretty but painful to watch.  I’m interested in the opportunity an openly gay character gives the show, but they’ve got to work it out here.  With a lot of the supporting cast this season, it’s like watching a rehearsal going off-script for the first time.  The actor who plays Amir is the only minor cast member who is pulling through for me.  I don’t understand what’s not working; the office scenes were great last season, but now they drag.  

I so very badly want this show to work.  While I’m excited for the story to branch out in new ways and involve new characters, I also hope the show remembers what worked about it in the first place:  snappy voiceovers, the chemistry between the leads, and a celebration of awkwardness.

californiakwake asked: Hi, just saw your post about the book Soulless reblogged by someone, and it sounds awesome. One point though, octopus is not latin but rather greek in origin, which means the proper plurals are either octopuses or octopodes. I'm not trying to be mean, I was just incredibly happy to find out that all my teachers who told me octopuses was incorrect were themselves wrong, so I like to share the info.

How interesting!  I assumed it was confusion between second- and fourth-declension Latin nouns.  The author of Soulless is an archaeologist by training, so she probably studied both Greek and Latin and perhaps this is another of her inside jokes in the text.

Reasons why I am already stanning hard for this series (spoilers ahead):

• It is both a steampunk romance and a parody of steampunk and romances
• The author’s real name is Tofa Borregaard and she has a Master’s in archaeology or something
• The heroine’s name is Alexia.  Unfortunately, Alexia is a medical condition which involves a person sustaining a brain injury that renders them unable to read
• Because of our buddy Tofa’s background, I think she knows this.  
• Alexia doesn’t speak Latin, so she refers to octopi as “octopuses”
• Ivy’s awful hats
• The two protagonists are totally useless!  Whenever they need to Solve a Crime or Save a Life, they just make out.
• The vampire Lord Akeldama, who is a fabulous queen
• Romanticized Scottish werewolves!
• Everything is so tongue-in-cheek, winking at the reader, as if to say, “It’s all right, bb, you are smarter than this, but it’s okay to indulge when you have been working this hard in grad school.”  Once you realize that the narrative is smart satire of itself, it works.

I am about to write a screenplay of this ridiculous/amazing book and make millions because it is self-aware fluff and I am on this crazy train in the long run.

In which we give Being Human (US) a chance

H: i also like that aidan is a very old vampire from revolutionary times
H: he didn't like paul revere apparently
G: hahahahahaha
G: awesome
G: things he does like: lifting weights
G: with his arms
H: bet he put a lot of tories in headlocks with those arms
G: mm yeah
H: he really showed the red coats
H: with his biceps of freedom~
H: true patriots should always wear tshirts and not long sleeves
G: BICEPS OF FREEDOM
G: dying
...
H: everyone should know about the birth of america!